2018 July: From China with love

15 July, 2018

Hello everyone! Greetings once again from Northeast China!  
 It’s been since chinese Spring festival that I have written on this blog...so many emotions today As I type this entry on our last full day together in China.  There is a reason I haven’t written..it’s because I’ve been focused elsewhere. Since  the radiation treatment In Nov/Dec 2017, Rod has never really recovered, and in fact in April and May of 2018 when he was in the US, he had a series of 3 mini strokes/TIA’s  and the long return trip to China was very difficult on him.  At that point, we determined we needed to leave China definitively and set a date of July.  So we put all of the wheels in motion targeting “mid July”.  So here we are, on the last full day together in China.     I hope to come back in September to do a handover with my successors at work...but that all depends on life at that time.  My ticket is Round trip...Rod’s is one way.  It’s not the way we planned to leave China, but we must live life on life’s terms.

Below, I have a few excerpts from my personal blog along this part of our journey.  I’m so glad I have had the presence of mind to write when the going gets tough, I’ve done this all of my life, sometimes in a journal, sometimes in notes..it’s therapeutic for me, and maybe will help someone else one day. (And maybe it will be the source of a book some day?).    Today it helps me, even though I write through tear stained eyes as I reread some of the entries, in the end it is helpful. God is with us both and is carrying us when we do not have the strength to carry ourselves...today and in the future.  I know this and I cling to this.

There are no pictures in this post as I type this...my computer is packed and I’m doing this from my tablet, so manipulating a lot of photos is not so easy...maybe I’ll add some later.  If you’re in it for the pictures of beautiful China, better move along..nothing to see in this post!

I’m a Christian and there are prayers in these posts...I do not apologize for this!  I ask that you respect my beliefs as I respect yours.  We have had the opportunity to live and travel the world being introduced to many different faiths and practices.  We remain faithful to being Christians.  If that offends you, then I suggest you skip this entry.

If you’re still here after the previous 2 paragraphs, I ask you to join me on a very personal journey and as always I ask for your prayers.

Today, I say Yes to life!

27 Dec 2017

As I write this, I’m on the 118th floor of the Ritz Carlton Hotel in Hongkong. I am very encouraged today that Rod said he can feel his back getting better and he showed me a picture of him running the Great Wall marathon back in 2013 and he said he is going to get strong again like that!  It’s the first time I’ve heard him say something positive like this since this most recent diagnosis and treatment series.  I wanted this Christmas to be special because as I’ve written before, there are no guarantees.  Especially when we’re talking stage 4 Cancer with multiple metastas. Especially when just yesterday when we left home he mentioned that for the first time in his life he felt vulnerable physically, that if he got attacked, he couldn’t defend himself.  He still is in pain when he walks and his rear end is still  like it’s sunburned and peeling now and itches him, but when he is talking about getting stronger that seems like a small price to pay.  

Today, I choose to dwell on the positive and not get sucked into the what if’s.  Today I choose to celebrate life and enjoy our blessings.  Today, I say “yes to life”!  

Father I thank you for our many blessings today.  I thank you for Rod’s healing and our live for each other.  I thank you for the birth of your Son Jesus and I ask that you continue to bless Rodney and I as we plot the course for our future.  Help us to realize Father that each day is a gift and that Today is the day we seize and celebrate or the day we take for granted and let it slip away.  Help us to seize the Day Father and continue us to do Your Will Together for as long as possible!  Amen.

Home in a Box

30 Dec 2017

As I Type this, we’re on a cruise off the coast of Vietnam on our way to Taiwan. Rod hasn’t done any of the excursions because he doesn’t feel well.  His back hurts, his hips hurt and he still has to pee a lot.  As we sat on the balcony i mentioned that I was glad that he wasn’t one of the ones shipped home in a box, (from tHe Vietnam war) he said it may come sooner than we think.  He said tonight that he knows he’s not well and what I heard was that he doesn’t think it will be long before he too will get shipped home in a box.  I didn’t want to get sucked into the what if’s, but tonight’s talk on the balcony brought it all home again..is this the last New Years together, is this our last vacation together, is this our last anything together?  Damn you Cancer. Damn you.

Father, I ask again that you give him many more years together, let us pull together, give him hope for the future. Give me hope For the future too.

Gold, Frankincense and Myrrh

13 January 2018

This week I started a new morning routine of giving Rod a short massage with the essential oils we bought on the cruise and praying for him as I lay my hands on him.  He says he thinks it’s working!  I don’t know what all is at work, with the radiation treatment recovery, the oils, the massage, and prayers.  I know the prayers work..and the massage and oils are a bonus!  I’m sure it’s a combination of all of the above, and I take this as good news.  I see when he walks, he moves as though he’s not nearly as sore as he used to be.  He tells me he thinks it’s working and that it feels good...and that is good enough for me!   I thank God for this, and  I take good news one day at a time!

PSA, Prayers and Pain. 

24 Feb 2018

Rod had a PSA test this week.  11.73,almost exactly what it was before the radiation treatment...not so encouraging.  I was hoping it would have gone down.  He has been in a funk since then,and so have I. Now, his back seems to hurt...for awhile the essential oil massages helped him,  now his back hurts all the time and his hips are hurting too.  I can see it when he walks and it hurts me to see him in pain.  He is also tired most of the time and last night he mentioned that he remembers our late brother in law Henri who died at 69 from liver cancer.  He said he remembered asking God when he was first diagnosed to let him live as long as Henri, and he’s now lived two years longer than him.  He cried last night when I was massaging him and and prayed to God to give us power and ability to get through our life when the other is gone.  He doesn’t want to leave me anymore than I want to leave him.    

Father, I thank you for giving us this time together until now.  You know our strengths and weaknesses and I ask that you give us many more days, months, years together; we are much better together.  Father, we know we do not know the day or the hour we will die.  Rodney is about Your business Father and we believe he has much more to do here on earth before you call him home. If it be Your Will, Father, please take Rod’s pain away. Bless him Father. Amen.

“Well done thy good and faithful servant”

24 Mar 2018

Rod has been in a lot of back pain today having trouble walking.  This afternoon he told me that while I was in Chinese class, he had a very clear voice from Jesus telling him “well done thy good and faithful servant”.  Of course, I’m happy he has received such high praise... I also have to be honest that I feel it’s a confirmation that Jesus is ready to welcome him back home to heaven, that his days here on earth are short...and i dont like it.  I know this may sound crazy to anyone reading this...and sometimes, it’s crazy to me.  Rod is very highly spiritually connected and when he tells me he has been spoken to by Jesus, I know he is telling the truth.  It makes my stomach ache to even think that he’s nearing death, and I pray morning and night with Rod that he can stay here on this earth much longer so that we both can continue to do His will.  We will go tomorrow to get a professional photo session...have some fun, take some beautiful photos together and have a wonderful book created, for all time.  I also hope to get a photographer at our family reunion in KY.  It’s as if I want to capture every moment together and freeze it in time, trying to hold on to him forever.

Father, you know my fears, and even though I know I should trust, and I do trust, I’m scared.  I’m scared that the end is near and I can’t do anything about it.  I don’t know how I will carry on without him, I don’t know what I will do, where I will live...and of course it’s fear of the unknown and fear of being alone.  Father I ask that You grant me the understanding and courage to face my situation whenever it comes and help me live one day at a time.  I ask that You keep me in today and enjoy our time together.  

Pain and Prayers

13 April 2018

Rod got his PSA today, and as feared, it has gone up.  He won’t tell me to what, but he said it’s higher.  I looked..56.67.  He told me today that he didn’t take the hormone shot since Feb 20th.  Not sure why... I don’t think I’ll ever understand why he doesn’t take it...it’s the only hope now.  He said due to what he has felt as a side effect with heart palpitations and swelling ankles, he feels like he’s trading seats in the titanic.  He’s in pain as he walks, he can’t get comfortable when he lays down,  he did finally agree to take some gout medicine which seems to help.  He’s getting ready to go to the US on a tour...I’m sure he thinks it’s his last time to see some of these people...and it might be.  I can’t be there with him at the beginning, but I’ll join him later in SC, then we’ll both go to KY to spend a week together.   I’m not looking forward to our time apart and especially not being with him to help him as he travels.  He’s going to Myrtle beach to the clinic, so that will be good for him. I’m still massaging him morning and evening and he says it makes it feel better for a few minutes, but then it’s back.  

Father, I thank you for our love and our life together.  I ask that you heal his cancer, I ask that you take away his pain and I ask for many more days on this earth together.  We know Father that we do not know the hour of our death.  I ask that if he goes before me that you give me strength to carry on.  Amen.

Anniversary 35 

23 April2018

Well, this anniversary we spend alone physically, but together in our hearts and minds...Rod is in the US on his family and friends tour 2018. He is telling everyone this is the last time he will do this.  I will join you soon on the US for a business meeting, then we can have a week together on vacation!  

PSA to TIA

2 May 2018

I awoke to news today that Rod has had a stroke/ TIA, not sure which one yet while in Louisville, KY.  Thankfully son Chris was with him and took him to the hospital.  I saw a video of him trying to answer the nurses questions and some words were right,  many were wrong.  His color was really red, and his blood pressure was high.  Thank God he was with family.  The good news is I spoke to him a few minutes ago and he sounded back to normal.  He recited the alphabet perfectly.  That leads me to believe that it was a TIA.  As I write this, he has not seen the doctor yet, so no idea of the next step.

What a difference a week makes

8 May 2018

This time last week, I was oblivious that I would get a call that Rod had suffered a stroke. Today, due to the wonderful help of his son Christopher and some very attentive doctors and nurses and the almighty God the father, he is with me here in Louisville, KY with no permanent damage from the stroke!  He was getting ready to get on a bus to go to Myrtle Beach for a week of treatment, but Thankfully his son saw that he wasn’t acting or speaking right and convinced him to go tot he hospital. What would have happened if he would have gotten in that bus and the clot allowed to just stay there?  No telling!  Instead, he went to a stroke trauma Center very close to where his son’s family lives and they gave him some immediate treatment which dissolved the clot quickly, limiting the scope and in fact making it a reality that there would be no permanent damage!  That is a God thing!  The docs told him to stay around the area, so we are doing just that. Staying close and resting.  His back still hurts a lot, but at least he is able to walk, talk and generally be normal.  Thank you God!

Father I want to say a big thank you again for your Divine intervention in Rod’s life and ensuring that he is not shut down just yet!  Thank you father for ensuring that he got quick help, that we have good insurance, that son Christopher was there, that he didn’t get on the bus..and the list goes on and on.   Father I ask that you heal the cancer in Rod’s body.  

1 stroke, 2 strokes, xxx strokes more..

21 May 2018

What a crazy last 2 weeks. Rod was in the US doing his “friends and family” tour, while Inwas still in China I got a call from son Christopher that Rod was in the hospital after having suffered a mini-stroke or TIA. At that time, I got my tickets changed and came earlier than planned.  It was really a God thing where Christopher noticed that something wasn’t right and took him to the hospital and they diagnosed the problem and gave him the anti-stroke medication.  Within 24 hours he was speaking and thinking normally again.  By the time I got here, he had been released from the hospital with no permanent damage and told to take aspirin every day.  Everything seemed normal.  

After that I went to SC as planned for my business trip but he did not go with me.  He spent the week back with Christopher in their home, and then drove up to Cincinnati to pick me up on Friday evening.  I drove to Maysville and because we were not sure of his health, we changed our reservation to just stay there all week instead of moving of around.  He went with me to my high school reunion and was wiped out after that and spend the next day sleeping most of the day.

  He informed me that he had given up driving alone..he didn’t feel comfortable and in fact when he was in Louisville during the time I was in SC, he said he had to pull off of the road because his head felt really “swimmy” like it did before the stroke.  At that time, there was no immediate symptoms, but he said he was afraid he would hurt someone or something, so he didn’t want to drive.  That is a big deal for him..a very big deal. 

Today, when I was with a high school girlfriend having coffee and tea, he was at the hotel and he called our life insurance company to make sure his premiums where up to date.  When I got back from my friends date, He told me that In the middle of talking about to the insurance person, he had another mini-stroke, where his tongue for thick and he couldn’t concentrate and feel he couldn’t talk or think right.  When I spoke to him he sounded ok and he said he felt ok.  He convinced me he didn’t want to go to the hospital.  I hope I don’t regret this.

Is this the way a person with stage 4 cancer dies?  Slowly, painfully, progressive additional ailments?  

This trip has been my wake up call..he is much sicker than I thought.  Back in China, I only saw him for about an hour in the morning and 2 hours in the evening..now that I have been with him all day for several days, it’s evident for me that he’s sick.  He’s weak, he’s fragile and he’s not confident (all of these descriptors are the exact opposite of husband of 35 years).  I’m  calling into question everything about myself..retirement, future plans etc because I want to take actions to get him back to the US before I’m bringing him home in an urn.

Father, I think you for the time we have had together and Thank you for being a part of his mission in life.  Thank you for the true love we share.   I ask that you heal Rodney’s mind and body.  I ask that you relieve him of the pain he is feeling and also I ask that you give him understanding of me and me of him.  Heal him Father, if it be Your will.  Amen

Praying for a miracle and signalling intentions

30 May 2018

We’re on the plane in route to China.  It has been nice to see friends and family and now we are returning to our other home in Shenyang, hoping to get back to a routine, where Rod does not have to move around.  He’s not feeling well at all right now on the flight..it is taking everything he’s got to make this trip.  The cancer is sucking the life out of him before my eyes.  He will get the PET scan next week to see the story.  Unfortunately, I think we already know..I think the cancer was not stopped by the radiation.  I massage him daily and unabashedly pray for a miracle for healing and ask God to remove the pain in his back and now the groin.  I hope the doctor tells him to restart on the hormone therapy, I hope the hormone therapy can slow it down..even though it didn’t seem to have been doing that.

He’s no longer on the diet Dr Dong prescribed anymore, eating basically whatever he wants, especially sweets.  He told me earlier he just doesn’t care anymore.  This is a bad sign for me, signaling he has given up.  I believe in his heart of hearts, he knows something....What does he know?  I don’t know..only God knows. I believe he thinks the end is near...how near?  So many depressing thoughts.

This trip has been a wake up call for me.  I have been able to see first hand how weak he is, how much he sleeps, how he walks with a limp..and now with these mini-strokes, it amplifies my awareness how sick he is, no matter the brave face he puts on.  

With all of this in mind, I’ve now asked my personnel manager at work to start working on a replacement for me in China and plan on the end of the year 2018. We told his sons that is our intention and they were relieved.  Is that soon enough?  I don’t know.  I hope so.  If news next week on the PET scan is not good, then I’ll pull the trigger to go back sooner. 

Father God, I thank you for all of the time we have had together and thank you for all of our blessings and provisions You have provided.  I thank you for the Holy Spirit’s guidance and intuitive thought.  I thank You for our family and friends and all of their support.  Father, I continue to ask for a miracle of healing for Rodney and stop the growth of cancer in his prostate, bladder, backbone and pelvis.  I ask that You help him rebuild his bones and give him strength and relieve him of the pain.  I ask that Father so that he can continue to do Your will all over the world.  I ask this in the name of Jesus Christ.  Amen.

Breaking bones, breaking heart

1 June 2018

The trip from the US to China was too much for him.  Too much walking, and when we arrived in Shenyang, he was exhausted.  On Friday morning, he said he had a bad head ache and high blood pressure.  He went to the doctor and the doctor told him that the sever pain he has is the cause of the high blood pressure and the doctor gave him a high powered pain killer. He took it thank God.   I went to work in the morning, but I came home in the afternoon.  Rod went to get a massage that he thought would help.  I picked him up at the massage place and Rod said he had no pain, but that during the massage he thinks the massager broke a rib during the massage.  He said that that was a wake up call for him...his bones are very fragile...”a soft spot” he said.  He likely has several fractures all over causing him to have pain, and now he has a broken rib, caused only by the force of a massage.  

The jet lag and seeing him suffer and struggle keeps me up.  My only release is to write..because I can’t talk without crying and sobbing.  

 Punch 1 of the 1-2 punch

7 June 2018

Today, I took off work to go with Rod to get the PSA blood test and PET scan.  Our Chinese friends took off work too and helped accompany us through the very efficient, very busy Shenyang Hospital 1.  He took the tests and it was evident he was not comfortable at all, and after the tests were done, we came home and he couldn’t get comfortable anywhere.  He even took off his necklace and bracelet because it hurt his skin.  He moved from the bed, to the chair, to the floor.  I felt so bad for him, even though he took pain medicines, he was in agony.  I felt so helpless, I tried to massage him, but even that hurt him.  

Then we got the PSA results...> 100.  Rod looked at it and said to me “Your boy is going down”.  I’m numb, just numb.

Father, 

I thank you for all the time we have shared together and having experienced real love.  I thank you for being able to be part of his life.  I ask that you relieve him of the pain and again, I ask for a miracle to extend his life with me, if it be your will.  I don’t know what to do.  I ask you Father to lead and guide me and send your Holy Spirit to me to tell me what to do.

Punch 2 of the 1-2 punch..a kick in the gut

8 June 2018

Today, we got the results, and it’s not good.  The doc was not here, but we could read the book and see the pictures ourselves...we’ve done this before.  It has spread to his lymph system, it’s up on his voice box, on his ribs, middle of his back and it looks like it’s in his lungs too, in addition to the original places of prostate, bladder, pelvis and backbone.

I’m numb, I’m just a sobbing piece of numbness.  Ok cancer, you won...you got him here on earth, but God will welcome him to Heaven...that’s my only solace. Joined at the heart forever.  Father, you know my heart Is broken, you know when you will welcome him home.  You know my prayers and I ask for strength.  I cannot bear this alone.

Sunrise, Sunset

16 June 2018

It’s Saturday morning and another dip on the roller coaster of cancer.  Monday and Tuesday of this week, Rod was in horrible pain, could not get comfortable, chilling and achy like he had the flu, then Wednesday, Thursday and Friday, he seemed like his old self, up and positive, had some pain,  it stil mobile, then today, he did not sleep, feels achy and woke up drenched with sweat.  I’m so grateful we have made the decision to go back to the US. .  It is a lot of work to move, but I just don’t want the added stress of him dying in China.  I want to move him while he’s able.  Some days he is able, other days, not so much.  Michelin has been so supportive during this and for that I’m so very grateful.  Our friends and family are also very supportive and have offered to help us in any way.  That means the world to me.

I told my team at work this past week that I was leaving.  Lots of sad faces, but they will get through.  They are sad for us both as they all know Rodney.  Sad for themselves as it means a new boss at some point in the future, and they don’t know when that is, neither do it.  The obligatory leaving China party is scheduled now, and the green light has been given to the movers to make appointments with us., many of the actions I write down on my check list  are all starting to happen now...it’s reality.  I’m doing the checklists, and intellectually, I’m OK, emotionally, I’m still numb.  Just numb, running on fumes

Father God, I thank you for all of the time we have had together, going all over the world, doing Your Will as best we know how.  Thank you for the gift of knowing true love here on this earth and helping Rod, and seeing how very much Rod had helped and supported me. He is an incredible man and I thank you for this gift of time we have together.  I ask once again for another miracle Father, I ask that you stop the growth of the cancer in his body, You know where it is and I ask that hat if it be Your Will that You stop it growing.  I ask for strength to accept Your will and if he is to go before me, then I ask for the strength to carry on, one moment at a time.  I ask for acceptance and understanding.  I ask that You welcome him back into your arms and welcome him Home with You and give him comfort.  I ask that You assign him the mission to continue to take care of me. Amen.

My heart goes out with the books

17 June 2018

Today, Rod is trudging away..We continue to sort through stuff, getting ready for our departure from China.  I can see he is in pain.  He is meeting with a Chinese friend of ours and giving her some of his prize possessions...his books.  We tell her we are leaving.  I’m not sure she grasps the seriousness of the situation.  She says he looks good, and on the outside, she is right..he does look good.  She is somewhat stunned by our news.

These are very personal books and he wants her to have,  books that he has carried all over the world and is now giving to her.  I saw the first one being given, and after that I left, I just couldn’t watch it.  It made my stomach sick and my eyes tear up.  I know why he wanted her to have them, but it just made it that much more real...that he knows the end is near and this is his way of giving a piece of his heart to those dear to him.  A piece of his heart goes with the books seemingly peacefully, yet at the same time, my heart is being ripped out.  Nothing peaceful about it.  I take a picture to capture the moment, trying to keep him alive through a digital image, even while my heart trying to keep on beating, my eyes are full of tears and my stomach in knots.

Father, I thank you for being able to share my life with such a caring, genuine man for the past 35+ years.  I thank you for the time spent with his gentle soul and loving spirit.  I know you have additional missions for him and I just ask for the strength to accept that.  I already yearn for the time we will be together for eternity with You.  Even so, I ask for yet another miracle of healing and I trust Your will to be done in our lives.  You know our needs and I ask for strength to carry on

.

Up and down round and round...where it he stops nobody knows..

25 June 2018

Today, When I came home from work, Rod was angry...angry at our friends for trying to help him find a cure for the cancer, angry at me for “making him move to the US”, angry at any female for “ganging up on him, telling him what to do, angry at cancer for making him feel bad...just angry.  It made me feel frustrated that I’m changing everything about my life so that if he dies, I’m not  having to deal with it in China.  Selfish on my part?  maybe, but I don’t think so.  I think he’s feeling bad and lashing out at anyone close to him as a way to feel in control of his life.

Father, I’m trying to be the faithful, loving woman I need to be for Rodney.  I thank you for my difficulties, so that I can appreciate the good days and moments.  Thank you for all of the good days and moments we have shared together.  I ask that you bless him and keep him and if it be Your will, please take away his pain and his anger. I ask that you heal the cancer and restore his bones.  I ask that you restore his spirit.

Trail of Tears

4 July 2018

Last night Rod didn’t sleep at all, and he was in pain, couldn’t sleep, couldn’t get comfortable. This morning, he told me it’s the worst he has ever felt and he told me he remembered my mother, just setting at the table, in pain, no energy.  He wondered aloud that he had been lead by God to be with my mom in her last days to see how it was going to be.  We both cried, sitting on the side of the bed.  He said he wasn’t afraid of dying he was sad to be leaving me, with no one to take care of me. He said he felt so bad for putting me through this...the inevitable death of the love of my life, my friend, my lover, my confidant, my spiritual leader, my Rodney. I feel so bad for him, I hate to see him in pain, I hate to be putting him through this big move at a time when he feels really bad all over.  It’s obvious I waited too long to ask to go back. I ask God to let him alive until we fly out on the 16th of July.

Later today I read the translation of the PET scan.  It’s not good, even worse than we thought.  It’s on his bronchial tubes, in his throat, left lung, liver, adrenal glands, rectum, prostate,aorta at the  T3/4 area of the backbone, multiple points in the skeletal and spinal structure. In other words, it’s everywhere.

 Father God, I thank you for all the time we have had together.  I thank you for life we have shared all over the world.  I thank You for all of the people he has helped all over the world.   I ask again for another miracle to healing in my Rodney, if it be Your will Lord.  I ask that you give us both strength to get through the days ahead.  I ask that you bless him and relieve him of the suffering.  I ask that You let him see his sons again in the US and let them know we both love them. Father, I ask this in the name of Jesus Christ.

From China With Love

15 July 2018

Today we make our final preparations to leave China.  The movers have come and gone, most of the goodbyes have been said, the going away parties and gifts presented...many tears have been And will continue toto be shed as we go to the next chapter of our lives.  

We have a plan...get back to Greenville, recuperate from the trip and jet lag, get him hooked up with a GP doc, see if he qualifies for hospice if so, get hooked up with that, then find a place to live that is convenient to that, get the air shipment delivered there, and then try to live our lives as much as possible until we can’t.  We hope too just feel like we’re on vacation for a while!

I’m so grateful for the time we have been together, so grateful for the man he is and continues he’s to be, so grateful for knowing and experiencing true love.  I’m also grateful to work for an excellent t company Michelin.  A 125 year old company that still has a heart, and for which I have strived to be part of the driving force to keep it going for another 100+ years.  I have prepared all of the handover documents and left them with my assistant in case I can’t come back in September and do it face to face. I have shared our accomplishments and dreams with my teams so that hopefully they will continue on the path we started together professionally.  Today Rodney and I did a video interview when I asked him to go over the financial documents And any last wishes or advice for me.   I know it will help me when the time comes, but it was hard to do.  I have done all I know to do both personally and professionally to prepare. 

Father God I thank you for all of the blessings in our lives, Thank You for the experience of true love with Rodney, Thank You for the revelations You have given Rodney and he has shared with me, Thank You for loving friends and  family all over the world, Thank you for a good job and a wonderful company, thank you for clarity of thought and most of all Father, thank You for giving your Son Jesus so that we may have eternal life.  Father, I ask that you send your Angels to us and watch over us as we travel back to the US, I ask that you give Rodney peace and comfort as we make this long trip, I ask that you send Your Holy Spirit to us to tell us truth and show us the next right steps as we enter into this next phase of our life.  Amen.

Until next time, we ask for your continued prayers.

Sarah & Rodney

2017 Dec: Another step on the journey with Cancer

16 Dec 2017

Greeting all from Cold Shenyang...it's already been -3 deg F below 0...and it's only December!  It's going to be a cold one!  At the end of my last entry talking about all the awards etc, I mentioned that I had something even more important and that is an update on Rod's journey with Cancer. I wrote briefly about it in Feb of 2017, but this time, I will go back a little further to tell the story of the past 2 years by again taking excerpts from my personal diary.   Rod was diagnosed with Prostate cancer in Oct 2006 and treated it with radiation beam therapy when we lived in SC.  This seemed to be effective for about 7 years...then in 2014 while we lived here in China, the symptoms came back and this PSA number was rising, so he treated it again with Alternative medicine and a Chinese treatment in Beijing using a direct injection method called umipic in combination with a hormone therapy and even a Tibetan traditional therapy.  This seemed to be effective for about 2-3 years...then the old symptoms came back accompanied by some new ones.  So if you want to see the current situation, you can skip all the way to the end of this entry...and see that the cancer has spread, to 4 places and  he has taken radiation treatments here in Shenyang.  The Doc is optimistic and so are we,  but we won't know anything for a few months when he gets the PET scan. Cancer is not have to be a death sentence.  It is chronic and must be treated or it will be a death sentence.  There are no guarantees in life with or without cancer.  Today, I remain committed to not let cancer rule my life and so does Rod...some days we are better at that outlook than others.  I share this story not to seek sympathy, I do it to give hope to others who are also on this journey or who live with someone who is...and also to seek prayers from anyone who is reading this.  We are both Christians and we believe in the power of prayer.  If that offends you, I suggest you skip this entry because there are many written prayers  and many many more not written here in our  daily journey.

Here, there, everywhere...cancer roller coaster

Jan 2016

It’s been awhile…such a nice adventure Christmas vacation in Thailand and Myanmar. But…in that vacation, Rod had symptoms of increased urination urges again…and also some blood in his urine….not a good sign. He will get a PET scan tomorrow, and then when we get results, we’ll have some facts on which to make a decision for next steps. He has already decided he’s not going to Beijing with Dr Yu. He hopes that if there is cancer, surgery is an option. He had the results of his PSA…and its 9.5. That is significantly higher than it was. Maybe the lupron is the trick…tomorrow is the first step for more facts. He will keep the nutrition program. Such a roller coaster of emotions with cancer.

 

Looking for answers where there are none

31 Jan 2016

It’s not possible to predict how long any of us will live…yet, I find myself looking on the internet trying to find a prediction, trying to find comfort, trying to look for answers to a question that cannot be answered.
According to what the doc told him today, his prostate cancer is stage 3b from the charts on the American cancer society website:

T3a: The cancer extends outside the prostate but not to the seminal vesicles.
T3b: The cancer has spread to the seminal vesicles.
T4: The cancer has grown into tissues next to your prostate (other than the seminal vesicles), such as the urethral sphincter (muscle that helps control urination), the rectum, the bladder, and/or the wall of the pelvis.

How long will it take to go to stage 4 ?
In May 2014 I don’t think it was in the seminal vesicles…so it took 2 years to go from 3a to 3b, and that was with the Lupron shot, and Flutimide drugs, umipic direct injection chemo treatments with Dr Yu in Beijing and alternative medicine Dr Dong at Myrtle beach and completely changing his lifestyle. The doc told him today that his survival estimate could be 2 years, 3 years, 5 years…but he didn’t day longer (or at least Rod didn’t tell me any bigger number)
That is the unanswerable question…The only real thing to do now is take the hormones and keep the testosterone that is feeding the cancer low…and keep his immune system revved up to the max, eat as cleanly as possible and stay detoxed.
Damn this cancer anyway.

Happy birthday to Rod

12 Feb 2016

Back in 2006 when you first got diagnosed with the cancer, it has been a roller coaster of emotions for both of us. You have grown so much spiritually and helped countless people all over the world since the day I heard you say it was cancer and my heart sank. My heart sank because my life, all I held dear was threatened by that word cancer. You treated with all the best treatments we could and I don’t regret any of them…they have given me our days together. I knew the bell curve by heart and I knew the odds…and you beat the odds!! Then 2 years ago, our world got rocked again…cancer was back…another series of treatments and another roller coaster ride…surgery was not an option, and you invested in you to get healthy from the inside out and even though surgery was not an option, you kicked it back again! Now, here we are in 2016, yes, we know the cancer is back…I know that your health lifestyle and hormone treatment, and who knows what else we can throw at it with the chinese medicine to knock it back again!
I continued to be amazed at the man you are today…still crazy after all these years, and so much more.  I am so proud of you Rodney and so grateful to be the person you choose to share your life with.
I ask God to give you many more days on this earth with me and to bless you with health, happiness, joy and much love. I love you Rodney Miller…no one else I would rather be with than you.
Happy 69th birthday…and may we both have 31 more together!!
Love you eternally…still!
Sarah

Take that you damn prostate cancer…you ain’t got me nor him yet!

Victory over Cancer in my mind...big step

14 Feb2016

It’s Valentine’s Day…ever since the cancer news, seems like I always fear this will be our last day…last birthday, last Valentine’s Day, part Chinese New Year, ….so I want to capture all the emotions, photos etc. Why didn’t I do this before? Too busy with my own little things in life and too busy to see the real things.
Can the cancer be a blessing in disguise? A blessing to help us be even closer and live and love each day to the fullest? I choose to think so today.
Today, I will not let cancer define me or my love for my husband, or my life. Today, I will embrace him and let him know I love him more than ever and be forever grateful for our lives together!
 I ask for the courage to continue to live each day with my dear husband and I ask that you give me many more days on this earth and give me the strength to face today and the future with love, strength and grace…no matter what.
Amen.

The Thrill of Victory...the Agony of Defeat

20 Feb 2016

Sometimes I feel more victorious over cancer than others…each time he has a day when he says he doesn’t feel good, I can’t help but think the cancer is spreading and sucking the life out of him before my eyes. I want to plan our life, like I always have, even if I know that plans can change…but they have always changed with us together. For the first time, I am faced with the real possibility that I may be growing old without him. Of course with the 13 year age difference, statistically that has always been the odds…but when we were younger, it always seems so far away…now it’s here on me. I try to enjoy each day, each moment and share our joys.
I ask God to remain victorious over cancer and not let it define him nor me. I ask God to bless us real good today and every day and if it be His will, give us may days together on this earth and let us fully enjoy each other. I ask God to bless him specifically today and heal him from the inside out. He’s been my life mate and the thought of going solo in this journey just sickens me. I know it can be done…I see friends do it and they have survived…forever changed, but they have survived. I love you Rodney, stay strong and keep making healthy choices.

Good news when you can get it!

14 July 2016

Got some good news yesterday…Rod’s PSA was 0.125! His new Lupron shot is ordered and he should be in by end of July..right on schedule! I love it when the plan comes together!
Thank you Father for this good state of affaires…we take each day one day at a time…I am grateful and praise You for healing a good day today. I continue to ask for acceptance of Your Will…easy when I think it’s good news..not so easy when it’s bad. Bless him Father, he’s my rock and I love him so. Not much else to add…no need to add!

A little Lupron today

26 July 2016

Rod got his 3 Month Lupron shot today, and he is also getting referred to a local urologist so that if he needs something to ease the symptoms locally, he has someone close. I’m grateful that he feels good today and other than knowing he has cancer, he says he feels great. He actually said if he didn’t know it, he would not believe he had it. It is 2016 now…he was first diagnosed back in 2006. He has been 10 years on the infamous bell curve of odds.
Dear Lord, thank you for your healing hand. Your grace to give us more days together.

PSA On the rise...again

25 Oct 2016

Today Rod got his PSA results and it was 2.53 PSA…that’s up from 0.125 3 months ago…a big jump. He didn’t speak to the doctor. He gets this 3 month hormone shot this week. Is it the first signs that the hormone shots are no longer effective? Is it timing of the test vs hormone shot? Too many questions tonight..none can be answered.
He says he feels good and has decided not to go to Dr Yu Baofa for additional treatment right now…

2016 ends and 2017 begins

2 January 2017

This time a year ago, Rod was getting ready to go to Hong Kong and learn once again that his cancer was. It operable, no real treatment other than the Lupron and diet, and he would hear, it could be 2 years, could be 5. Makes me take a deep breath to read that just one year later. What will I write in Jan 2018? Better to stay focused on today.
Rod seems to be doing Ok, still peeing a lot, still having some unexplained pain. He mentioned on the long flight home that he wants to make it to 70 (which he will be in Feb 2017) and then he will make his goal 72. I continue to keep my head in the sand and believe he will live as long as I do.
Today, Father, I ask for the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
I ask that you continue to bless us and give us long days on this earth together and when it is our time, let us be the example you want us to be.

A wonderful Hawaiian Family Christmas Dec 2016

Creeping up

19 Jan 2017

Today Rod had his PSA test today. 3.22… creeping up from 2.53. It’s not as fast as I feared, yet it’s still going up. We have not had any discussions yet about these results, other than him saying “doubling”… the reference to the speed of the cancer growing.
I hate cancer..I just hate it.
Father, I ask that you grant Rodney many more days on this earth with me. Help me to accept Your plan. Help me to be supportive of Rodney and his mission here on earth. Help me to be positive and take maximum time with him while he’s here!

 

You made it to 70 Rod!  Happy birthday!  Let's keep it going!

 

Back aches makes my heart ache 

April 2017

Lately, Rod has been having back trouble…For prostate cancer the first place it goes after it leaves the prostate and seminal vésicales is the back. In his most recent scan there was nothing confirmed..so we were of course happy about that. Now, I worry anew. He said he feels like it’s a spasm..is it something that comes with being 70? Is it the cancer? Do we both have our head in the sand by not going to get a test? What good would a test do other than confirm or deny suspicions..there is no treatment other than nutrition, supplements and exercise…we’ve already confirmed that.
Father, I come to you thanking you for all you have provided for us and for our life together up until now. I ask for your healing hand to touch Rod and your healing breath to breath on him. I ask for many more days together here in earth if it be Your will.  I love you Rodney and we love You Father and we love and thank You Jesus.

Rod and Sarah's anniversary trip to SuZhou, China

Double trouble

11 July 2017

Today , as I write this, I have learned Rod’s latest PSA score of 7.96, up from 3.22 in January..that is doubling in 6 months. It’s not good news. I’m on vacation with My sister Patricia who is celebrating cancer free. Squeezed between 2 cancers. It is such a downer..I’m numb. I want to enjoy my vacation, but I can’t help thinking about Rod’s cancer. He said he felt bad earlier this year, he told me after the fact that he was passing blood and now we see this result of the PSA even with the lupron. Is this the end of the lupron effectiveness? Will he go to see Dr Yu? I just don’t know. He does not know either. I sent him a note to tell him I’m not going to let cancer rule my life and neither is he..easy to say, it so easy to do. I really don’t even know what that means today. I’m numb, just numb.

On the rise again

21Oct 17

I just got back from a business trip to Shanghai and all this week, I’ve been texting back and forth to Rod…he had the PSA test again and as I thought, it is higher again registering at 11.71, up from 7.96 in July…that almost doubling in 3 months, and tripling in 9 months…so the velocity is increasingly higher. This time, I think he is reconsidering going to Dr Baofa again in Beijing…now, talking to Dr’s here in Shenyang to get a full PET scan to see where it is, and assuming it is somewhere that has not had the direct inject method, (like on the outside of the prostate gland where it meets the neck of the bladder) then he can delay it spreading again. This time 3 years ago we were in Beijing doing exactly the same treatment.
Father, I come to you, praising you, asking once again that you let Rod stay here many more days, weeks, months, years with me here on earth. You know I will be lost without him.

Backbone flip

27 Oct 2017

As feared, the PET scan confirmed the cancer has returned and now it has metastasized on the backbone and pelvis. The doc here in Shenyang said the treatment is to change hormone brands and take radiation treatments (5/week x 6 weeks) starting immediately.
Rod has confirmed he will do this.
I can’t lie, it’s not good news.
The docs in Hongkong told him no other treatment options...here in Shenyang they are telling him since it's been so long since the last radiation treatment (>10 years), it's OK.  We are trusting the Shenyang doctor...what other choice do we have?  In Jan 2016 he had 2-5 years to live..so here we are almost 2 years since that date.
Father I ask that you give us many more years together.

Round 3: Life 3, Cancer 0

31 Oct 2017

Yesterday, Monday, Rod was tested, targeted and actually did his first radiation treatment 72 hours after getting the PET scan result. That is amazing. That would have never happened in this amount of time in the US! Rod paid 50,000 RMB up front on the account at the hospital and his friend the Chinese doctor David, head of oncology is making sure he gets the best treatment. They did a bladder scan today and said that a type of necrosis cancer (not a tumor, but another type) was eating through his bladder Wall, so he said he would treat it too with radiation. 4 different places : bladder, prostate, pelvis bone and tailbone. It’s scary to read that. He is sore tonight. They told him he would get sick about week 5…he says he’d already sick on day 2. It’s going to be tough on him.
I just pray that God’s will be done in our lives and if it be His will that he give us many more years together. I ask God to give me understanding of His will and to give us both strength.

2 down, 4 to go

11 Nov 2017

Two weeks ago Rod started the radiation treatment for the cancer. He has only been really sick one time, but he’s starting to get really tired. I can tell his hips and back are hurting him when he walks. He’s starting to get dark circles around his eyes. Most days he still has a good attitude, and he told me last night that he is noticing he doesn’t have to pee quite as often as he did before. I take that as good news, at least he doesn’t have to live next to the toilet all the time. I hope this radiation treatment lasts a long time…I have no illusions that this will cure the cancer. I’m just hoping to prolong his life with a good quality of life.
I love him so much and I wish I could help him. I thank God we are living this close to the hospital. He is able to walk there every day to get his treatment.
I ask God to bless him, give him strength and give us both peace of mind.
Love you Rod, may we have many more years together!

4 down, 2 weeks to go

25 Nov 2017

Rod has completed 4weeks of the treatment…his rear end is getting radiation burns and his hips hurt and his back hurts. I took off on Thanksgiving day to accompany him to his treatment. It hurts me to see him in pain and not able to help him.
I pray he can endure the coming two weeks and I also pray we get a reprieve for this cancer…kick it down the road again. I am so grateful for our time together, but I’m selfish and I want more. I look for all of the small pleasures to make me feel good, anything to ease my fears and doubts.
Father, I ask you to grant I’m many more long days on this earth to help even more people that only he can reach. I love you Rod, you can do it!

Rod walking on his way to get treatment at the hospital in Shenyang

Rod in front of the hospital at Shenyang...this is just one building...there are many!

Rod inside the radiation treatment waiting room...everyone gets a mold made, then this mold is put in a bag with a tag and all of the patients keep their bags on these racks..come in get your bag and wait.

Rod with Dr David in the radiation area treatment area.

The radiation room patient just before Rod still on the table..it's an assembly line of radiation treatments..that machine never stops (except when it breaks down...which it did on the day I went with him!).  The return on investment must be pretty quick on this machine as much as it gets used!

Rodney and I enjoying our Thanksgiving dinner at the hotel where we live.

Can't keep a good man down

8 Dec 2017

Today is a very special day. It’s the last day of Rod’s radiation treatment. I’m in Chengdu, Sichuan province with my team visiting a customer..but that is not why today is special..today, at 3:30, when I was visiting Qingcheng Shan mountain, a Daoist temple, I got the following message from Rod:
“Finished. Then took a CAT Scan Very good report. Thank You Lord… and Dr. David. And all who prayed for me”.
I just burst into tears. Tears of joy. I told some of the people on my team, I even hugged one of them…something that is not done in China! I couldn’t help it..I was just over come. I bought 2 candles and I lit them for Rodney and me and Thanked God, and I’m still thanking God！I wanted that moment to last..the joy that filled my soul was nothing like what I had experienced before..just so grateful.
Thank you Father for once again leading us to be in the right place at the right time and get the best treatment. Thank you Father for working through Rodney again and again. He is your trusted servant. Thank you for him and his never ending love for me and mine for him and for yet another lease on life! Bless him Father and All glory and honor and praise be given to You.
Amen

At the Taoist Shrine in Chengdu, China on the day Rod finished his treatments

Sarah lighting a candles for the Miller couple on the day Rod got is CT Scan and the Doctor saying the results looked good.  Taking picture is not allowed here...but when I told one of my team members the good news, I asked him to take some photos...and he did...I'm so grateful to have this moment recorded in time.  8 Dec 2017.

 So, there we are...Rod has kicked the can down the road again...for how long, we don't know.  I just thank God we are where we are today.  In Jan of 2017, I was wondering what I will write in Jan 2018...well, I don't know, but I have every hope and belief I will be writing about our nice cruise we have planned here in Asia.  We intend to have a wonderful relaxing vacation.  Rod still does not feel so good and we knew this would be the case...the radiation sickness is real and so is the pain from the cancer.  
Thank you Father for the time we have had and I ask that you bless us and give us many more years together.

Sarah & Rodney in Shenyang, China

2017 July: Cancer, Commencement and Cruising

22 July 2017
Just a warning up front...the following post is long..part update on two cancer survivors in my life, part love story, part travelogue and many things in between!  So if none of this interests you, you might want to just skip this post!

The title says a lot about the entries...it's an update on  the Cancer journey of Rodney and sister Patricia; it's the celebration of Patricia getting her Doctorate and commencement exercise in the midst of taking cancer treatments and it's the journal of our travels through Europe on a River cruise together...the 3 Cs of July 2017.

For those of you who have followed this blog for awhile, you know that my husband was first diagnosed with prostate cancer in 2006, went through some significant standard US treatment protocols and also non FDA approved treatments here in China.  Bottom line with Rod's Cancer as I write this: it has been slowed down, but still active and we take it one day at a time with hormone therapy, nutritional and alternative medical treatments and Chinese medicine and most of all prayer for guidance for next steps. He does a lot of volunteer work here in China helping people who are somewhat down and out. All during this time no matter in active treatment or not, he never stopped helping others. I'm very proud of him for his courage and selfless service to many people here in China. I love you Rodney! I ask God for many more years together, on day at a time.

You also know my sister Patricia was diagnosed in 2015 with Stage 3B with rectal cancer. She has her own story to tell, so I don't go into all of the detail here, (for some of that story, you can see my entry on Patricia's cancer journey 2015 ).  The summary is that she came to China to have a similar treatment that Rod had and also did a standard US treatment protocol. Bottom line with Patricia's Cancer right now: she is in complete remission! Amazing but true!  Answered prayers from all over the globe!  It is particularly amazing since her diagnosis was in the middle of her pursuit of a doctorate degree in Nursing and she had to put that on hold for a semester, but she got right back at it when she felt well enough and in Dec 2016, she graduated with her Doctorate! How awesome is that?!!  I didn't get to attend her commencement ceremony so I publicly state here a big congratulations Dr. Patricia Hurley!  Commencement is an interesting word...we use it to describe the act of getting a diploma for completing an education...when we look at the elements of the word, it's not about finishing something at all...it's all about beginnings.  I think this is particularly appropriate in the case of my sister...I believe she is starting a new phase of her life free from cancer and enlightened about healing with a unique personal experience so that she can educate our future nurses.  Go for it Doctor!

Back in 2016, when she was feeling particularly sick, we made a plan to go on a cruise in summer of 2017. She had always wanted to visit Paris, so we picked out a river cruise where we would start in Paris and end in Prague. We agreed that if anything happened either on her side or mine ( our health or our husband's ) we would cancel and reschedule. There were some events that caused us both to question, but finally we kept the date! I'm so glad we did! We had a wonderful time together and we indeed did celebrate life! Victory over Cancer, celebrating of her Commencement with her Doctorate and a Cruise vacation with time together exploring the beauty of Europe! (Hence the title of this entry). The best example of 3 C's I can imagine! I'm so proud of her! Love you Patricia!

As I often remind myself, none of us knows the future and there are no guarantees, so I try to remain grateful for each day with my dear husband and also all of my friends and family, immediate and extended... each day is a gift.

During this time away I updated my life goals /bucket list items (I actually put these down on paper in 2007 and occasionally I've updated them).  I was proud to mark many of them complete and take the time to rethink others that I have not done yet and cross some off that I no longer  think is important enough to keep on the list and also to add new ones...one of these days I may actually do a blog entry on that...but that's another story!)   This time, I added a short part for  "My sentence" (1 short memorable sentence that I think describes me) and I share it with you here:  "She says Yes to life".   If you haven't written down some life goals/bucket list items, I suggest you do so...not just thinking it, actually writing it down.  Having a document in writing has a way of forcing me to define what is important to me in life and then focus to get it done.  There is no "right or wrong" way of doing this type of exercise...it's a very personal document..mine will always be right for me and I have the ability to change it at any time!

Back to our vacation...below is a recount of mine and Patricia's  time together on this sister vacation:  I took well over 1000 pictures, so I've had to be very selective (that in itself is alot of work for me!)

Patricia left her home in Titusville, Florida and traveled East, I left my home in Shenyang, China and traveled west and we were able to meet up in Paris, France to have a wonderful reunion.
I arrived in Paris a day before my sister, and so I was able to greet her when she arrived at the hotel..Oh happy day!

Both of us a little tired, we didn't care..just happy to see each other in the lobby of the hotel in Paris ! after long journeys

We didn't have alot of unscheduled time, but I wanted her to see an example of the Paris I know and love so I took her to eat at one of my favorite restaurants:  The Cafe de la Paix in the Intercontinental Hotel Grand, on the Place de l'Opera.  As usual, this place did not disappoint... it has been in operation since the mid 1800's, is beautifully decorated and all of the wait staff is very professional.  

Sarah and Patricia having a wonderful French meal at the Hotel Grand

The next day we went on the cruise organized tour of Paris and quickly visited Notre Dame and a few other "drive by"sights! 

Patricia and Sarah's feet both touching "Km 0" at Notre Dame.  All road distances to Paris are measured from this spot.

One of the rose windows inside of Notre Dame of Paris

Sisters in Paris in front of the Eiffel Tower

It was smothering hot outside in Paris, so after the tour, we took a quick break and updated our plan to focus on indoor activities.  Patricia told me that she really wanted to see the impressionist paintings, so we went to the Musee d'Orsey to see masters of this era.  The building itself is also a masterpiece in it's own rite as it  used to be a train station and the clocks of the old station are an icon landmark on the bank of the Seine river.

The main hall at the Musee d'orsey...hard to imagine this as a train station...back when architecture was supposed to be beautiful!

Patricia and Sarah in one of the ball rooms of the Musee d'Orsey

Sarah beside Monet's "Tower of London"

Patricia beside one of Monet's Waterlillies

Sarah between 2 Renoir's "Dance in the City" and I can't remember the other one's name

Renoir's Moulin de la Galette

On the 5th floor of the Museum, you can see the view of the City from behind one of the clock faces!  I love this photo!

 After our visit to the museum, we went on a little shopping trip to one of my favorite shops in Paris.  No this is not Galleries Lafayette or Au printemps...although those are nice department stores.  This was to a boutique shop for the brand Anne Fontaine. My attraction with Anne Fontaine goes back to when we first lived in France and one of the shops in Montceau actually carried a few items of this brand in her shop.  Anne Fontaine signature line is white blouses...sounds strange but trust me there are many different ways to dress up a white blouse!  There are other colors, but it's mostly about the design and style around basic colors, white, black, blue, red etc. When I was heavier, I could no longer fit into this line, so when I lost the weight, I dared to drop into to this shop in Paris and commenced to reward myself with a few purchases!  My chief enabler Patricia was right there to help me this time and tell me what looked good and what did not.  Amazing what nice clothing and a true friend/sister's opinion does for self confidence!  Will I wear this every day?  Of course not...but when I do wear it, I will feel good about myself and I will own the room when I walk in...I can handle that now.  I feel good in my own skin!  Expensive? Yes, a little...but I'm at the point in my life where I can do this...I mean really...how often does a small town Kentucky, tomboy girl go shopping in Paris?  Not very often...so I made it count!

Sarah sporting some new Anne Fontaine in Paris and the dress the sales lady has on was also available in my size...you'll see that later in this blog! 

With a few euros less in the account and a nights sleep,  the next day we got on the cruise bus and set out for Luxembourg on our way to Trier Germany to get on the boat.

Luxembourg city has one of the most beautiful balcony views in Europe

 One of the most memorable stops was a the US National Cemetery in Luxembourg.  Rodney and I are both retired US Army Reservist  and as such I have a special connection with these soldiers who gave it all.  May we never forget their sacrifice.  I salute you one and all.

The view from the soldiers point of view of a medal of honor recipient who is buried in the US national cemetery in Luxembourg.  I love this photo.

Over 5000 soldiers from WWII  including General George S. Patton are buried in this cemetery in Luxembourg.  The words from the famous poem In Flanders Fields by John McCrae come to mind: (this was written for WWI, and the cemetery is WWII...but the meaning is the same...

 In Flanders fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row,
That mark our place: and in the sky
The larks still bravely singing fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the dead: Short days ago,
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved and were loved: and now we lie
In Flanders fields!

Take up our quarrel with the foe
To you, from failing hands, we throw
The torch: be yours to hold it high
If ye break faith with us who die,
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields

After this stop, we moved onto a small town outside of Trier, Germany where we got on the boat on the Mosel River.  We were told we would go through 42 locks as we ambled from the Mosel to the Rhine to the Main and finally the Main -Danube Waterway on our way to Bamberg Germany where we would disembark and then drive to Prague.

A really nice first impression of the view from our room on the boat, and how we were going to enjoy the rest of our tour...pristine blue skies and clean air!

We set sail and our first stop the next morning was Trier, Germany.  This is a city that dates back to Romain times with many Roman ruins including a public bath, amphitheatre, churches, and old city gate.  This city owns the title for "oldest xxx" in Germany for many things due to it's history dating back to Roman empire days.

A vineyard overlooking the city to Trier..lots of German wines from the banks of the Mosel

The oldest Church in  Germany in Trier

The town square in Trier, Germany

One of the statues on the town square dedicated to the 4 Cardinal Virtues.  Can you name them? (I couldn't remember (If I ever knew them), so here they are: Temperance, Fortitude, Prudence, Justice)

The view from the bottom of the old city gate in Trier

Later that day, we set sail again to take a leisurely afternoon of Cruising down the river to Berncastle, Germany.  Patricia and I walked around this little town and we both loved it here!

Sarah and Patricia in the Classic city square in Berncastle, Germany

Shopping?  Buying some hats in a Berncastle shop

The City Square in Berncastle, Germany

The next day, we sailed to Cochem, Germany on this day we had a little rain.  I didn't dampen our spirits (although we did learn to take the umbrellas with us on future tours!)
The main highlight of Cochem was a castle tour.  This castle had been first built in the year 1000 (more or less) and went through several times of destruction and rebuilding until it was finally rebuilt by a very wealthy person in the 1800's.

The entry to the castle at Cochem, Germany

Patricia and Sarah getting a little wet, but still smiling in Cochem, Germany!

A vigilant castle guard stands watch over the city of Cochem, Germany

The castle at Cochem is also now the site of receptions and weddings

The view of the river Mosel from the Castle at Cochem, Germany

The dinning room inside the Cochem, Germany castle

The next day we sailed to Koblenz where we would see the confluence of the Rhine and Mosel river, where there is a huge statue of Kaiser Wilhelm commemorating the reuniting of all German states end of 1880's.

Our boat docked in Koblenz, Germany

The view from the top of the Kaiser Welhelm Statue at the confluence of the Rhine and Mosel Rivers in Koblenz

Sarah in front of the Kaiser Welhem Statue in Koblenz, Germany. 

Patricia and I split up on this day as the tour up to Marburg, Castle in Koblenz was not an easy tour.  It was a wise decision on Patricia's part...this castle is original and still in midevil standards of comfort and difficulties!

The natural hewn stone steps leading up the castle...the picture does not do it justice, trust me!

The view from the cannon emplacements at Marbourg, Castle

The view of the Rhine from one of the walls around Marbourg Castle

Sarah bending down to get through one of the doors in Marburg, castle

The view of the Rhine from one of the ramparts at Marburg castle

A window sill with some period musical instruments of Marburg castle (the window obviously has been added!)  There are over 200 rooms in this castle, mostly all empty and not on tour to the public.

The best view of Marburg castle from the boat!

The rest of the afternoon was spent sailing on the Rhine river..the super highway of water traffic in Europe and we didn't stop anywhere along the Rhine.  It is a lovely cruise,  Lined with castles all along the way, by no means all of the castles!

one of many castles along the Rhine

Another castle on the Rhine and it's quaint little river town

Another huge castle on the Rhine

And another castle on the Rhine

 
The next day, we left the Rhine river and transitioned to the Main river and went to Heidelburg a lovely German city with yet another castle ruins.

Sarah and Patricia touring Heidelburg Castle

The facade is all that remains of the castle in Heidelburg, but what a huge castle complex it was!

A panoramic pic does not do the view from the Heidelburg castle justice

The next day, we sailed again and we split our tours again.  Sarah went to Rothenburg ob der Tauber  and a brief tour of the Wurtsburg castle and Patricia spent the day exploring Wurtsburg and the castle.  Rothenburg ob der Tauber is a very charming old walled (12th century) city, but destroyed in 14th century by an earthquake but rebuilt and when Martin Luther started the protestant movement, this city became strongly Lutheran. The cathedral in this city is said to have a relic with the blood of Jesus Christ.  In 30 year war of 17th century (Catholics against lutherans) the city was very poor and even though they wanted to modernize, they couldn't afford to tear down the midevil walls (thankfully). In 19th century it enjoyed popularity as romantic city and still is intact). It is a beautiful little town.

A view of Rothenburg ob der Tauber from inside the city to the outside gate.

Sarah at Rothenburg ob der Tauber

The alter in the Church at Rothenburg Ob Der Tauber

The relic said to be the blood of Jesus Christ (a drop of blood is said to be located behind the big Crystal ball in the center of the Cross) in Rothenburg ob der Tauber, Germany

A view of the sentury walk around the city of Rothemburg ob der Tauber

The view from the restaurant where we had lunch at Rothemburg Ob Der Tauber, Germany

After the visit to Rothenburg Ob Der Tauber, we went to visit the Wurtsburg residence. This is a  Unesco Site and no pics were allowed inside.  It is very opulent. It was bombed in WWII but some parts are still original, some was rebuilt. It is absolutely stunning today..too bad I have no photos of the inside.

The Wurtsburg residence

The courtyard outside the Wurtsburg Residence

The gardens of the Wurtsburg, residence

The evening entertainment on the boat each night was really good.  On this night, it was the crew themselves turn to entertain the guests.  One of the highlights was our cruise director MaryAnne who is really an excellent singer and entertainer. Patricia and I danced (this was a first to dance together ever I think!) and just had a grand old time!  I wore one of my new Anne Fontaine dresses I bought in Paris and just had a great time dancing on the boat!

Sarah and Patricia onboard the Viking Alsvin sailing from Paris to Prague in July 2017

Sarah and Patricia dancing the night away!

Patricia and Sarah Selfie on the dance floor!

Patricia and Sarah sitting this one out!

After the big night on the boat, we went for our last full day on the boat cruising up the Main Danube canal waterway.  At this point we have gone through 31 locks. There is a north south continental divide for Europe and this canal which was first started in the mid 1850's, then stopped, then restarted again in 1960 and finally finished in 1992. The canal connects the rivers on the south and North of Germany with the Main on the North side and the Danube of the South. Very controversial project as it cost alot of money with questionable need in modern times.  Certainly all of the river boat tourism would not be possible without this canal!  The canal Starts in Maintz on the Rhine to Passau on the German border with the Chech republic.

The next day we toured around Bamburg, a beautiful old city that is actually a UNESCO world heritage site. 

The Fisherman's area along the river in Bamburg, Germany

The city hall in Bamburg. The city hall is actually on a little island in the middle of town.

The organ in a cathedral in Bamburg.  I got in trouble for standing in the middle of the aisle of the church (still can't figure out why!) to get lined up to take this photo of the organ...as one of my friends on Facebook said, better to ask forgiveness than permission...exactly!

A shopping area in Bamburg

The next day, we left the boat and got on a bus to drive a short distance to Nürnberg, former headquarters of the of 3rd Reich in WWII, and also location for the famous Nurnberg war crime trials.  This city was bombed heavily (90% destroyed by allied forces) and  after the war the city rebuilt. For me there were two parts of the city..the old town and the WWII town.  First, I'll mention the WWII part:

First is the Nazi party rally ground, party congress location which is a massive, 8sq Miles which contained a Building like amphitheater, never finished, made like the amphitheater in Rome.   Architecture was a big part of Nazi design for their legacy.  Hitler didn't like any religion, Jews, Christians, no one.   According to our  local tour guide, his philosophy was Hitler First, everything else 2nd.

The Nazi party amphitheatre at Nurnberg, Germany from the inside...it was never finished

The amphitheatre in Nurnberg, Germany as seen from the outside

Also included in this big area was a place called the Zeppelin field.  As the name implies this is where the zeppelins could be landed, but mostly, it was used to hold Nazi rallies 1/year. There is a big
grandstand is where Hitler gave his speeches and presided over big military parades and Reich labor services .  The  Rallies lasted 1 week in September, and it was mainly a show of force and military sports games, political leaders speeches. The place used to have a big golden swastika and the Americans bombed it and tore it down as a symbol of victory.

This is a picture of  picture for what the grandstand looked like right after WWII.

The grandstand for Nazi party speeches as it looks in 2017

The grandstand where Hitler gave his speeches in Nurnberg, Germany

A close up of the Grandstand

The rest of Nürnberg is an Old midevil city, still much of the wall exists as well as the castle. Famous for gingerbread and sausages in addition to all of the WWII history.  (we sampled the Ginger bread, but not the sausages!), and of course a centrally located cathedral.  We didn't have alot of time in this city, but what we saw was nice.

Part of the old city wall in Bamberg

Sarah and Patricia in front of the cathedral in Bamberg

Cathedral in Bamberg so big, couldn't get it all in one picture

Take a look at this clock...there is 1 face for the hour and another face below it for the minutes!  It's the only place I've seen this..only in Bamberg!

After this time in Bamberg, we got on the E50 which is like an interstate highway for Europe spanning from Brest, France (on the extreme western side on the Atlantic coast of France) to the Caspian Sea. It's a road that was called the Golden road in midevil times and also the Via Carolina (after King Charles the 4th). We didn't go all the way to the Caspian sea...only to Prague another UNESCO world heritage site and last city of our vacation together.


Prague was founded in 9th century and today 1.2 million people live there out of 12 million in all of Czech Republic. Prague is situated on the river Moldau (Voltava in Czech) The big deal about Prague is that it was never destroyed during wars, so the architecture is original most everywhere in the city.  A big focal point of the old town is the Charles Bridge (dates back to 14th century)  that connects old and new town.  The Charles bridge has many baroque open air sculptures added in 17th century and is pedestrian only starting in 1980. I've been the Prague 3 times and every time there seem to be more and more people on this bridge!

Patricia and Sarah on the Charles Bridge in Prague

Pedestrians on the Charles Bridge in Prague

The view of the old town as seen from the Charles Bridge in Prague

In addition to the old town, there is a castle in Prague sitting on top of the hill overlooking the city.
 Prague Castle, started to be built in 882, then added on in each century and is surrounded by Gardens that were established in 16th century.  There was a  mote  that was built, but never filled with water.  It is still here as a public park today. The castle is still used as a government office complex, but no one lives here permanently.  There is a simple changing of the guards on the hour.

changing of the Guard at Prague Castle

Part of the Garden at Prague Castle

In addition to the Charles Bridge, the big attraction is on the central square where an
Astronomic clock is located on the face of the cathedral.  This clock was built in 1400, shows the sun revolving around the earth!

The Astronomical clock in Prague

The city square in Prague

Trish and I enjoyed a lovely afternoon in Prague,  and had a leisurely lunch on the square.

Our last luncheon together in Prague..so nice!

The sister vacation was over the next day as Trish left to go back home to Florida.  It was such a nice vacation and so glad we did it.  We created memories to last a lifetime and I wanted to write about it soon so that I would not forget the special details  and I've so enjoyed writing about it, reliving it as I write!  I believe I can speak for both of us when I say we will always cherish this time together!  Absolutely no regrets!  None!  The time together was priceless!

I had another day in Prague and also some additional time in Paris before going back home to Rod who was patiently waiting for me in Shenyang...I'll write about that in another entry.  This one is all about the 3 C's.   I am blessed to have a wonderful family and to be able to share this experience with one of my sisters!  Dr Patricia Hurley:  cancer survivor and cruise alum and all around awesome person!

A last word and Big Thank you to my dear husband Rodney for understanding and supporting my need to do this vacation with my sister.  He is indeed a Prince among men and continues to support me all along the way even while overcoming his own health challenges.  I love you Rod.

Until next time!
Sarah